Red Teardrops
by AnonymousUser3426
Summary: Romano knows it's his time to die. From his own hands. No one left even cares about him. Or do they? WARNING! SUICIDAL ROMANO! Spamano. Rated M for language, blood, and smut bonus chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**So here is my newest story Star-Crossed Bloggers! The world needs more EstPan. Don't question my reasoning, it just does. Translations to some Japanese and Estonian phrases at the end of the chapter. Enjoy the rare OTP!**

* * *

"Ah!" Estonia stumbled, nearly dropping his precious computer. "That was close..."

"Nani...?" He looked down to see he had knocked over a fellow nation. "Anna andeks! I didn't see you!" He tilted his head in slight confusion. "I-I mean, I'm sorry! Th-that was so very rude of me! Are you hurt? Oh no, if you're hurt, then Russia..." A hand covered his mouth. "Please calm down, I'm fine...?"

"Estonia."

"Estonia? You're one of the Baltics. Yes, I know who you are." Japan nodded once, getting to his feet. "You do?"

"I've been on your blog, it's very nice. But I've seen you shipping USUK, I believe?" He turned a ghostly white. "D-don't tell!"

"Oh, I won't," he laughed softly. "I never said I didn't ship it."

"Wait, you follow my blog? Who are you on there?" Estonia's eyes widened in surprise. "I am otaku_lover_2067," he stated proudly. "No...no way! Really?" This was certainly a surprise, and a bit of an embarrassment. He had developed a crush on this mysterious user, only to find out it was Japan all along! "Hai, that's me." He gave a small smile. "Bit of a surprise?"

"Oh! Yeah, very! I never expected to meet an online friend in person!"

"Friend...I think I'd like that." Japan bowed respectfully. "I must be off, but be sure to message me, okay?" He nodded in agreement and watched him walk away. "I can't believe this, I was crushing on Japan!" Estonia shivered a little. "So why am I not upset about that?"

"What?" Lithuania asked. "Nothing!"

* * *

"This is getting weird, he usually isn't in a good mood for so long." Latvia observed him nervously as Estonia whistled happily, messaging some otaku_lover_2067 or something. "It must be a girl..."

"A girl? Oh, how wonderful! He's so lucky to have someone!" Lithuania clasped his hands together and fangirled like Hungary. "I'm so glad he's happy!"

"I-I'm talking to Japan!" he blurted out quickly. "Ohh, he likes Japan!"

"I did not see that coming!" Latvia gasped. "That's kind of weird, I didn't think they knew each other." The second eldest flushed a deep red. "I don't like Japan! We...we just blog together a-and talk a lot, that's all! Nothing else!" They stared at him curiously before leaving, Lithuania winking at him on his way out. "That was close..." He opened up his document again, checking it for grammatical and spelling errors. No, it just wasn't right. Anyone who was given this would laugh until they passed out. Or pee themselves. Knowing Japan, it would most likely be the latter. "So I'm gay," he mumbled. "I never saw THAT coming. Wow...maybe I should play games to take my mind off of it." He launched one without another thought. "Murder..." he mumbled, focusing entirely on the game.

"That's kind of disturbing." Estonia fell out of his chair. "J-Japan?! What are you doing here?!"

"Russia let me in," he stated simply. "You're playing Yandere Simulator, good choice. What panties did you choose?" He facepalmed. How could he ask something like that with a straight face?! "Never mind," he sighed, exiting the demo. "How did you even get Russia to let you in?"

"I rang the doorbell, and he said 'Oh, it's Estonia's boyfriend Lithuania and Latvia were talking about', so I was let in."

"Ughhhh..." he groaned. Why must this happen to him? "What is this?" Japan looked at the document pulled up before the game was launched. "D-don't read that!" Estonia tried to take the mouse, but Japan simply pushed him away.

_Dear Japan, I don't even know why the hell I'm typing this, you'll never see it. I guess I'll just rant a bit. I can't believe you were otaku_lover_2067 the whole time. The mysterious user whom I had a crush on was you!_ He paused his reading, a light blush adorning his cheeks. He cleared his throat and continued.

_This was a huge shock to me, of course. But after I had found out the truth, I wasn't that upset, just relieved that I knew who they were at last. I guess they were closer than I ever thought possible, it is a big world. After that, I visited your blog even more, reblogging so many of your posts. I was fascinated by your qualities as a person. Like how your eyes are that nice shade of amber, your straight, shiny black hair, the little kimonos you wear, but my favorite thing has to be your smile. If it's there, it's meek, shy. I savor the brief moments where I can witness it. Gee, this sure sounds cliché and sappy, huh? Silly me, always rambling. The point is, I love you. Yeah, I know, the Japanese aren't really fans of affection. It's a shame, really. All you need is love. Oh god, did I just quote The Beatles? I must REALLY be out of it. I'll probably delete this later, heaven knows how you would react if you actually saw it._ Japan rolled his eyes at the sheer irony of it all.

_Well, I guess that's it. My poor computer..._

_\- The Personification of Estonia, a lovestruck dork_

Japan finally got to the end of the document, trying to process what he had just read. He pushed back the chair with a 'thump', then noticed his friend in a fetal position. "Uh...hello?"

"Did you read it?" Estonia asked, unmoving. He nodded. "All of it?"

"Hai." He swallowed, trying to choose his next words carefully. "N-no one has said such things about me before...Estonia, I-where are you going?!" Japan quickly bolted after him as he booked it out the door. "Stupid me, why did I leave that up?! I should've deleted it! I'm such an idiot!" He finally sat down on a park bench after running for a few minutes. "I'm really out of shape," he wheezed. "Going outside isn't as fun as the computer. That's how we met...heh, I should've known Japan would be the one shipping Spamano."

"Estonia! Estonia!" A voice called. "Modotte kimasu! Watashi ni hanashite kudasai! Kudasai..."

"Japan?!" Estonia tried to pull him up off the ground. "What happened?!"

"I shouldn't run so much at my age, I suppose..." Japan slumped back into his chest tiredly. He didn't question it, instead he picked him up bridal style. "What are you doing...?" he asked half-heartedly. "Taking you home, you need to lie down for a while."

"I'm fine, really..." he insisted. "I can walk on my own."

"I'm still not letting you." It took about ten minutes to get back to Russia's house, and Japan had fallen asleep. Estonia chuckled softly and placed him in his bed. "You really are beautiful." He brushed some stray hair out of his face when a hand grabbed his. "Stay..." He flushed a dark pink and obliged, getting in with him. "Ma armastan sind."

Russia peered in a little while later, confused by the lack of noise. "Oh." He smiled softly and left them be. After sending Hungary a few pictures, of course.

* * *

Japan slowly opened his eyes. What happened? Oh yes, Estonia had carried him back. Wait, Estonia...

He gasped in surprise as he found himself being hugged from behind. He blushed and carefully took the glasses off Estonia's face, setting them on the bedside table. "Oh." He was kind of, dare he say, cute without them. "Hmm..." the Baltic sighed softly, pulling him closer in his sleep. "A-ah!" Japan gasped as he felt him bury his face in the back of his neck contently. Japan could barley turn his head to face him. "He smells like coconuts," he mumbled, drifting off to sleep again.

"MIDA VITTU!" Estonia cried, falling out of bed with a thud. Japan jerked up immediately. "Estonia! Are you alright?!" he shouted. "I-I think so...why are you in my bed? W-with me?"

"You put me here when I collapsed earlier, I believe." He groaned, rubbing his back. "That's right! And you asked me to stay with you." Japan coughed nervously. "Right...um, Mr. Estonia?"

"Yeah?"

"You were, um...holding me. V-very closely to your body." Estonia's eyes widened. "You mean...I was snuggling with you?" He averted his eyes shyly. "Yes, you were, I suppose. I moved your glasses." He nodded towards the table. "Oh yes, thank you." He slid them on carefully. "Did you say something to me right before I fell asleep? It was in your language."

"Said something? Let's see..." He racked his brain for a moment. "Oh, th-that. I said ma armastan sind." Japan tilted his head. "What does that mean?" Estonia shook his head. "I-I can't tell you." He moved forward, expression hardening. "What did you say earlier?" he asked again, slight annoyance written across his face. "Tell me."

"It means...um, you'll hate me for this. It-it means I love you in Estonian."

"N-nani?!" he gasped softly. "You...are you sure...?" He laughed lowly. "Yes, I'm certain. I told you it would make you hate me."

"I..." Japan began, but all words slipped from his mind at that moment. Then he made a bold, unexpected move, grabbing his hands. "Japan?"

"Ah...aishiteru," he whispered, his face growing an impossible shade of red. "Does that mean...?"

"Hai, it does." He flinched slightly as Estonia stroked his cheek softly, but didn't object. "Thank you." He teared up slightly. "Don't cry, you'll smudge these." Japan took his glasses from him and admired his face. "Ah...your eyes are a lovely shade of blue."

"Yours are a nice brown. I see so much hate for brown eyes on tumblr, I don't know why." Estonia cautiously pecked his cheek lightly. Japan jumped, wide eyed. "Y-you just..."

"Yeah...I know you don't like physical contact, I'm sorry." He touched his cheek softly. "I'm not."

"You aren't?" He shook his head. "Estonia? M-may I?"

"What?" Japan nervously bit his lip, then brushed his mouth against his lightly. "That."

"I..." Estonia slowly brought a hand to his lips, a slight warmth still clinging to them. "Why?"

"You didn't want me to do that? I-I'm sorry, I just thought maybe it was okay! I suppose it was not-"

"Japan, I'm not mad at you. But...why me? Why not Greece, o-or America?"

"Because watashi wa anata ga watashitoisshoni itaidesu." He chuckled at his confusion. "I want you to be with me."

"You do? Me? Really? You're not just saying that? I don't..." He sighed contently in his arms, closing his eyes. "I want you to be with me, too." Estonia returned the kiss eagerly, hoping it would last a while longer. "I love you."

"I love you too..." Japan brushed a few stray hairs out of his face. "And I know that can't be bad."

"Yeah...and you know what? I don't care what Russia thinks. He can stick his opinion where the sun don't shine."

"Do what with it?" Russia asked. Estonia jumped before facing him. "Oh. I-I said...that if you don't approve of me and Japan's relationship, you can stick it where the sun don't shine!" he shouted bravely. "And I'm not afraid of you!" Lithuania and Latvia gasped from outside the door. Russia leaned forward, an unreadable expression on his face. The smaller nation shoved Japan behind him, ready to defend.

"How wonderful!" Russia cheered.

"Excuse me?" he sputtered in disbelief. "I'm so happy you've found someone! Vodka to celebrate!" He strode off to the kitchen. "Weird..."

"So you do like him?!" Lithuania asked excitedly. "I knew it!"

"Hello, Lithuania-ah! Stop that!" He wheezed after being crushed into a hug. "Japan, are you going to be staying with us?!" Latvia squealed. "Did you spend the night here, too?!"

"Well, I..." Japan licked his lips slightly and went silent again. "I was feeling tired yesterday, and Estonia was kind enough to share his bed with me. So yes." Lithuania squealed and jumped around with the younger boy. "He's got a boyfriend!"

"Get out!" Estonia cried, shutting the door on them. "Oh my..." He glanced over at his new 'boyfriend' nervously. "I'm terribly sorry about that." He shook his head. "Oh no, it's alright." His blushing face proved otherwise. "They meant no harm, I'm sure." He nodded. "What would you like to do now?" He went to his computer. "Should we announce that we are a couple?"

"We are?" Japan asked in surprise, panicking when he saw the hurt expression on his face. "I-I mean, if you feel comfortable with that! I do..."

Estonia's face brightened as he nodded. "I tagged you in this." He nervously clicked 'post' and left the computer. "Now then..." He took his hand in his, "there's a meeting today, sadly. What shall we do?" A thoughtful expression crossed his face. "Tell them?" He nodded once.

* * *

"SO TODAY'S CONFERENCE HAS STARTED RIGHT NOW! I'LL GO-" Estonia raised his hand, and everyone leaned forward to listen. "Actually, I'd like to make an announcement." He motioned quietly to Japan as he took his hand. "Me and Japan are...are..." The words caught in his throat. Japan gave him a worried look and cupped his face. "Japan..." Estonia slowly closed the distance, the entire world watching. Many gasped. "Ah...are in love," he finished quietly. Silence.

"Well don't just sit here, you bastards!" Romano yelled. "Stand up!" The world stood up and clapped, America throwing in a few whistles. "Go Japan, my man!" France casually slipped a rose in Estonia's hand with a wink. "H-here..." He held it out shyly. Japan gasped in surprise before taking it. "It's beautiful..."

"Like you." Some countries ooh'ed (Spain, France, America, Prussia, and Denmark) at this little display of affection. "Arigato..." They cheered again as the new couple kissed for the second time. "I approve!" China shouted over the commotion. "Someone's finally got him to come out of his shell after all!"

"Chinaaaa!" he whined. "Shhhh!" He rolled his eyes. "If he's ever bugging you, just poke directly under his right shoulder. It's a pressure point." Japan sputtered again, red as Spain's tomatoes. "You're cruel!"

"Yaoi." Hungary not-so-successfully tried to control her nosebleed. Austria handed tissues to her and sighed.

"Sehr gut. Well...anyone else want to come out? Anyone?" Germany half-joked. America fidgeted a bit. "Actually, I-I do." Everyone stared at him curiously. "Me and Iceland...are together!" Everyone gasped a second time. "I did not see that coming!" Japan shouted. "He's right, you know..." the Nordic spoke up softly. "Me and Romano are, too!" Denmark yelled proudly. More gasps. "Shut up, Danish bastard! I don't have to take this!" Prussia laughed, shoving him out of the way. "Here's another shocker for you all! I have awesomely won over the awesome Norway!"

"I can't believe he called someone other than himself awesome!" Italy clapped. "I don't mean to brag, but..." Poland yanked France over, "my boyfriend is totally fabulous!" He gave a wink. "It is true!" Japan looked slightly disappointed at the realization of his OTPs not being canon after all. "Aw, it's okay Japan! At least me and Germany are together!" Said German hissed something in his own language angrily. "Oh, I'm glad to hear that. Anyone else?"

"Well actually, me and Russia..." China trailed off.

"Great! IT IS CANON!" Estonia and Japan fangirled like the weebs they are. "Aiyah, you people are crazy!"

"That's your opinion." A few were taken back at Japan's snarky retort, but everyone started to laugh. "It's nice to know everyone accepts us."

"Hai, I agree. There's nothing left to worry about."

"Well actually, there's still your countries' citizens-"

"America!" Iceland clapped a hand over his mouth. "They've gone through enough today! It can wait." He chuckled sheepishly. "Yeah...so how did you two meet?"

"Well, it's a little embarrassing. I met Japan on tumblr and well...I got a crush on him without knowing who it was. What about you, America?"

"Ah! Good choice! England left in a hissy fit after a meeting, and Icey gave me licorice. Then we talked about our weird ass brothers for a bit."

"What?!" Denmark yelled. "We're totally cool!"

"Sure. Anyways, we got along great, and I made him laugh a few times. He said he didn't have friends, and I could be his first one. Then I...I kissed his cheek and he hugged me and stuff. The end!"

"America!" Iceland elbowed him as he laughed. "Denmark?" He grinned. "Great! My turn!" So me and Roma were hanging out-"

"He got drunk off his ass and that's all there is to it!" Romano interrupted. "He just confessed and kissed me then fell asleep!"

"Yeah, well I woke up to find you at my side." He blushed. "Well, I-I couldn't leave you."

"Awesome! Now it is mein turn! Ahem!" Prussia cleared his throat. "Denbutt kicked me and Norway out so we could have fun together! Not that kind of fun." He wiggled his eyebrows as Norway sighed. "We hung out a lot after that, because I found him to be almost as awesome as me. But we were sitting around once when West wasn't home, and he got all sad, saying he thought maybe Iceland didn't love him."

"Wh-why would he think that?" Iceland stuttered. "The big brother thing...?"

"Ja. But I reassured him and we hugged for a second, and then..."

"Prussia..." Norway's voice had a warning undertone as Prussia gave a wolfish grin. "As I was saying...and then we had an epic tickle fight."

"Sweet! Who won?" Denmark bounced excitedly. "The awesome me, of course!" Norway slunk down in his chair. "Aw, cheer up Nor Nor! I think it's cute!" He muttered something illegible behind his hands. "That's so adorable! Uh, what about you, Poland?"

"I'm glad you asked! Well, Francey Pants here used to wear dresses-"

"That was a tunic!"

"Whatever. I got him to try on some of mine, and he looked like so gorgeous! I mean, I'm jealous! I put on one of my other dresses and was like 'wow, we should totally go out and eat at a fancy restaurant like this!' And he said 'oh my gosh you are right!' So we did, and we got a LOT of stares! Don't people know it's like rude to stare?"

"I suppose..."

"But we had an awesome dinner while looking fabulous! I was like 'we have to do this again sometime!' and France was like 'oui, I cannot wait!' The end!" Everyone looked confused or had no expression. "Oh, um...congrats?" England choked out. "Italy, your turn." His face brightened. "Si! Germany was trying to catch be because I run from training a lot, but I was too slow and he caught me! I was all 'nooooo!' and he was like 'Germany smash!' I gave him a hug so he'd calm down, but I um..."

"He tackled me to the ground!" Italy waved him off. "Whatever. So Germany was staring up at me, and he was stuttering a lot while his face turned red! It was real funny and cute!" Germany growled softly. "See? He's doing it again! I tried to say something, but my cuore, my heart, was going ba-dum, ba-dum!" The countries aaw'ed. "So I looked at him too, and then I said 'avvitalo' and we kissed! Germany was sooooo surprised! He couldn't really get up with me laying in him, but that's okay because he really wanted to kiss me!" He sunk lower in his seat. "Says who?!"

"You didn't move away, you made this sighing noise and your shoulders relaxed as you like melted-"

"That's enough..." He sighed. Prussia smacked him on the back. "Good job, West! Someone's getting laid tonight!" He laughed after Germany punched him. "I'll go next." Russia spoke up. Everyone nodded, a little scared of what would happen if they told him no. "I was in dear China's house, and he made some food for me! Willingly, not because he was forced..." England and France shrank away in fear. "Anyways, that silly pet panda of his jumped on my face!" China shook his head with a sigh. "He helped me get it off, and we stared into each other's eyes for a while."

"He asked me if I would leave him alone like everyone else has done...and I said no." China fiddled with his sleeves. "He cried, and I held him until he stopped." Their faces turned sympathetic. "Mr. Russia sir, we're very sorry we didn't realize this."

"Oh little Latvia, it's alright." He unknowingly squished his brain again. "I didn't want to bother you guys with my silly troubles."

"Ugh," he grunted from discomfort. "Mr. Russia, I think you're hurting him." Russia looked at Japan, then back at Latvia. "Oh...sorry." He backed off, making everyone's eyes widen. "That was a risky move," Estonia whispered. Japan just shrugged.

* * *

"We have 200 notes on our 'coming out' post," Estonia confirmed. "Isn't it great that our followers, wonderful people we don't even know, care for us so much? Here's the reblogs. 'Congrats!', 'I hope you two are happy', 'sending best wishes', and..." He trailed off with a deep frown. "Oh dear." Japan shoved him over. "What? What is it? 'You two are disgusting faggots, and I am ashamed to have you as my country'," he read out loud with a grimace. "I should've expected that, Estonia. Estonia?" He glanced over at him nervously. "Why can some people be so rude?" He asked himself. "I don't like it at all." Small arms hugged him from behind. "I know. We'll get through this, just remember that. It's only one person, right?" He didn't look up, a small tear streaming down his cheek. "It's not fair, it's just not fair..."

"I know it isn't, I'm sorry." Japan strained his ears as he mumbled something. "What was that?"

"My name...my human name...is Eduard von Bock." His eyes widened in shock. "You trust me that much?" A small nod. "Then my name is Kiku. Kiku Honda."

"I love you, Kiku. Please don't leave me. Please..." Hands grasped the back of his uniform unsurely. "I won't ever leave you." They held each other for what felt like hours, but it could have been minutes.

"My country needs gay marriage rights," Japan whispered against his chest. "I'm trying very hard, but it's a slow process. The best we have is a proof of partnership, if that makes sense."

"I understand. I have some rights for couples as if they were married, but that isn't quite enough. Maybe...maybe I can f-fix that with a little more w-work and d-dedication...oh Japan, ma armastan sind!" Estonia sobbed openly, letting Japan move his glasses. "I know. Aishiteru, Eduard." He could only whimper a reply in his own language softly.

* * *

_Translations:_

_Anna andeks - I'm sorry (Estonian)_

_Modotte kimasu - Come back (Japanese)_

_ Watashi ni hanashite kudasai - We need to talk (Japanese)_

_ Kudasai - Please (Japanese)_

_Mida vittu - What the f*ck (Estonian)_

_Ma armastan sind - I love you (Estonian)_

_Aishiteru - I love you (Japanese)_


	2. Extended Ending

"You fucker..." Romano backed up until he hit the wall, trapping himself. "Yes, that's what I am." Spain took his curl in his mouth, sucking on it. "Oh god, mmm, Spagna...if you don't stop I'll-I'll fuck you right here. And I won't be able to stop myself...aah..."

"I'll take that chance..." He licked the curl. "SHIT!" Romano tackled him, unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it aside. Spain let him take off his jeans as well. "You've always had a fine ass, you know..." He chuckled darkly. "So I've been told." He started pulling his own clothes off until they were both completely nude. Romano crouched down on his bed in a doggy style position. "Oh, you think you can handle me inside of you, Lovi? You virgin, you wouldn't be able to."

"DO IT, BASTARDO! I'M SO FUCKING HORNY BECAUSE OF YOU! FIX IT NOW!"

"Eh, fine." Spain pulled lube out of his jeans on the ground. "Why the fuck did you just happen to have that?"

"Oh silly, I've been waiting for so long, of course I'm prepared." He lubricated his stiff member before placing it outside his entrance. "Okay, this is going to hurt at first, but then it's supposed to feel really good."

"Do it!"

"Okay, on three. Uno, dos, tres!" Spain slowly slid in slightly. "Oh, fuck..." Pinpricks of tears formed at the corners of Romano's eyes. "Hurts..."

"Lo siento...are you ready?" He nodded barley. He moved slightly. "Still okay?" A small nod. "Okay." He continued, trying to find the right spot. "Oh...AH! RIGHT THERE!" Romano shouted, feeling a jolt throughout his body. "Okay. You got it." He thrust firmly in and out.

"S-SPAIN! OH GOD! MORE! SO GOOD! MIO DIO, MORE!" Spain stopped suddenly, leaning down to whisper in his ear. "Say my name."

"Antonio..."

"Louder."

"Antonio!" Spain smirked and started moving again. "OH SHIT! ANTONIO! OH GOD! ANTONIO! I'M GONNA-I'M SO CLOSE! HOLY FUCK!"

"I know, I'm close too! Get ready!" He thrust harder and faster than before. "FUCK! FU-!" They both came violently before collapsing in a heap."Antonio...I just wanted to say...that wasn't just out of lust, I do love you..." Romano panted, wrapping a finger around Spain's. "Yeah, I love you too. Don't you let anyone say otherwise, and keep living. For me." He slowly turned over to face him with a bright smile. He glanced at the knife in the wall.

"Sí."


End file.
